Why Die?

Yes, tell me, why die? Why?

Spot On.

Hitting the nail on the head can be gruelling and an expressway to the receiving end of jest and backlash. However, that’s what we do here. The distinct unrelenting bittersweet taste of truth in words is what we wield like a sword unto war. For life is a battle and the war is nigh.

AK. Stine

I Am an inert particle in a sea of endless fluid. I am trapped in this monstrous beast called life that is out to destroy the very essence of my being. I try using every angle and search for a single tiny crevice to escape. Where can I find it? This beast has surrounded me with walls so airtight that I Am gasping for air to breathe. The minute chance of escape rendered to me proves to be futile due to the menacing look this beast gives me. I constantly drench myself in tears that fall to the pit of my stomach where nobody can see. Not even me. I take a solid and brave stance before the beast to show it that I Have the strength and might to overcome every hurdle it puts on my way. This does not work because it knows that deep inside I am crumbling, shattering and searing with utter pain, my brain in a mushy mess, my heart beating like a bass drum and my bowels forming puddles. 

a fearful woman covering her mouth
Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

Am I such a coward? I keep asking myself. Can I really make it in the end? Are my reasons for doing what I decide to do, really justified? Why does it have to beme? The beast has broken me. It has broken my will and it knows that without any doubt. It is ensured the death of any ember of hope that lain within me. I’m fading slowly and infinitely into oblivion, where there is peace. Where There lies no pressure to deliver at all or any cost. Where there reigns total darkness and a form of bliss, though not in its entirety. The beast, life, hasnow trodden down upon me and is gathering my ashes from the dirt of the ground.My ash leaches into the ground as rain from the sky pounds hard on the ground.My essence still remains intact even though in shreds that are scattered allover by the beast. He proves to me that I am weak and nothing and he is right about it. But there is a measly glimmer of faith in self, embedded in every electron,proton and neutron of every atom. I still believe in my capacity.

diverse woman standing close and looking at camera
Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

Yes, I do know my capacity and I will not, I will not concede defeat. I have counted the cost and I am fully willing to pay the price. Let the storms cause an uproar in the sea, let the hurricanes cause turmoil on the earth and let the thunder and lightning to cause distraught in the sky. All these element in one accord put me back together, gathering all the pieces and fixing me, not back, but converting me into a greater, stronger, supernaturally natural being. I am a hybrid of self. I can now trample on the beast that once looked down on me. And once they’ve pieced me together, they now breathe life into me and say, “Goforth and long may you reign!!” I do, yes I do.

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